Empathy and authenticity

Overview

Traditional mentoring relationships have often seen the mentor as an expert who is there to provide advice rather than support and develop the person. In contrast, new views from mentoring relationships in higher education and beyond sees mentoring as a collaborative experience that requires engagement, empathy, and authenticity from both the mentor and mentee (e.g., Fries-Britt, Snider, 2015, Spencer, 2022). Developing and displaying these attributes is key in creating a meaningful relationship.

Theoretical perspectives

Students from underrepresented and minority backgrounds report that faculty mentors who shared a common ground with students and who provided holistic support positively affected students’ success (Museus et al., 2011).   Authentic and developing mentoring relationships serve as cultural navigators in educational and professional contexts (Strayhorn, 2010), and can help remove feelings of isolation often experienced by minority students at primarily white institutions.

In order to build such relationships, Fries-Britt and Snider (2015) identify different elements that are essential in the mentoring process.  All the elements build toward being authentic and empathetic as a mentor.  They highlight that through building trust and transparency and having the willingness to be vulnerable as a mentor, the mentor can help create authentic relationships.  Specifically, by modelling these behaviours and not waiting for the mentee to show vulnerability, the mentor can support the mentee to feel safe and valued. 

By continually showing the mentee that the mentor is in their corner and trusts them, a mentor can support their mentee in opening up authentically as well.  Of course, the relationship should still be focused on the mentees' needs and be centred on them, so while it can be valuable for the mentor to share about their own challenges, this should never take focus away from the mentee.  Focusing on the mentee and their needs is one of the key elements of empathy in the mentoring relationship (Spencer et al., 2020).  Spencer and colleagues named this adaptability, which is the mentor’s ability and openness to the wants, needs, and experiences of their mentee.  Furthermore, the mentor needs to be flexible and responsive.  The second element of empathy identified in their study supports this; namely the skill of perspective-taking, which the authors describe as the effort to relate to the mentee’s experience and to understand their point of view.

However, it is key to distinguish between cognitive and emotional empathy. Cognitive empathy is the mental exercise of identifying what other people are feeling, whereas emotional empathy also allows the mentor to connect with similar emotions in themselves (e.g., Davis, 1980). Through emotional empathy the mentor can display understanding, vulnerability and togetherness with their mentee. The mentor does not have to pour out their emotions to the mentee but being vulnerable and caring about the mentee is especially valuable when mentoring underrepresented minorities. 

Context for mentoring African International Students

As mentioned, a positive relationship with a faculty member is specifically meaningful for underrepresented minority students.   The relationship when mentoring African International Students can be an extremely valuable experience for both the mentor and mentee insofar that you as a mentor can support your mentee in building authentic trust.  When students come from a different culture and are less familiar with the educational environment it is extra important for you as a mentor to practise perspective-taking.  What are the assumptions you take for granted that may be different for your mentee?  By listening, asking questions, reflecting back what your mentee has told you to check understanding, as well as sharing vulnerable experiences, you can show the mentee that you truly care and build trust, which will allow you to connect with them more meaningfully and support the space for collective knowledge creation.